Thursday 31 December 2015

What's your number one?

Yesterday I wrote about how consciously choosing no New Years resolution helped make 2015 a better year for me however I am not a cookie cutter thinker not writer, if you need a good ole New Years Reso to help get things in check start here. Priorities.

Priorities are possibly one of the most detested words in the English language because it has a negative connotation attached to it that somehow we haven't been doing what's most important however, that's more about society not individuals.

A priority is something we place with high importance, above other things based on our values and beliefs. It is therefore not always understood why individuals prioritise one thing over another, but it doesn't have to be understood- priorities are personal.

For 2016 if your making a New Years resolution I urge you to consider what your priorities are, reflect on them and decide whether or not you got it right in 2015. This is not to beat the crap out of yourself but simply to ensure you don't let other things fall off the bandwagon by focussing on something that may be temporarily important. Too many people focus on working out or getting that promotion that they forget about quality time with their partners. Life is always best when we have balance so think about how you will order your priorities and make time for things that matter most to you now. Make sure you leave downtime as a space within your newly scheduled year because running out of time and not allowing yourself time to rest is the quickest way to ensure you feel a sense of failure sooner than you are capable of. If you have 20 priorities have a rethink- are there really 20 super important things that you MUST do now?
 
Furthermore, think about the things that you can and cannot change. Many of us want to prioritise completing things 100% of the time at work (for example) but we forget that we are evaluating this priority in a vacuum. If your workplace simply mounds and mounds work and doesn't leave time to actually get things completely done you aren't going to achieve that priority so change your target. It might feel like your doing the wrong thing but honestly you can't work to get 100 things done at once everyday at an outstanding level. If you try you'll end up with a nervous breakdown or sick 3 weeks into the new year. Be realistic. The same goes for your fitness goals. Don't slam yourself at the gym 7 days a week if you have no life other than work and gym, because it isn't going to make you happy even when you have that body you want. Again, be realistic.
 
Most importantly though if you are setting a New Year's Resolution think about how you want to feel and the end of the year. New Years resolution or not (see yesterday's post), you want to be able to reflect on a year gone by that was successful from the get go, that showed the change you wanted to achieve and how you maintained the other things in your life that are important to you.
 
New Year's Resolutions are mocked all the time, let's face it but there is no reason why you cannot achieve what you want to, it's all up to your mindset. If you want to achieve it you can. So go ahead, make one and come back and write to me how you are achieving it in 2016, I'd love to hear from you!
 
Till next time...
 
Jules

Why 21-Day Fix Is The Perfect New Habit - Shakeology Questions? www.beachbodycoach.com/teeaudyjo:

Wednesday 30 December 2015

WARNING: explicit motivational material with expletives.

One does not need to make a New Year's resolution. - When one is already this fucking awesome.:
 
 
You're in shock right? It is true I am definitely not the usual 'f bomber' especially online but it is that time of year when everyone cuts to the chase, gets philosophical and pours their heart out, filling our news feeds with momentary gratitude and Everest-like motivation. Now is the easiest time to switch off and hide all the mushiness of the season from our timelines but before you do I urge you to read this.

2015 was a different year for me. It began when I didn't make a New Years resolution. Instead I consciously decided to continue doing what I knew brought me happiness- achieve success, chase goals and enjoy every moment. This non-resolution made my year the most complete yet.

It started in January when I said goodbye to some friends I had made across a host of nations as I bid farewell to the Topdeck heroes of my Winter Getaway tour. I had a couple of days rest and randomly decided to pick a bucket list country and 'just go'. It was blissful. I ended up in a 4.5star hotel in Brussels overlooking the main square of the city, a chocolate parlour, waffles and diamonds on my doorstep. Six days later after further letting go, more than I ever had, I left London with so many positive memories and a superb start to my year. When I returned home I realised that as much as I loved being near my family I had outgrown my current life. So I did what I've never done before nor what I planned, I hedged bets and 12weeks later moved to London again. Thinking about that now makes me smile so much because I know how much gumption it took and how happy it made me feel. The turn around from a 6week eurotrip to living abroad was so short but I did it. I made a promise to myself that I would keep making decisions for my own happiness.

I continued to make decisions like these this year. It certainly wasn't the easiest year living in London. But because I focused on the positives and decided to cut out anything that didn't serve my happiness I got through the year happy. 99% of people I'm very close with will not know what my year entailed nor am I willing to share it but I am pleased to say through everything I managed to find peace and an unimaginable strength within myself. Apparently how I feel is shown on the outside because people on the street stop me to say 'wow you are a really happy person'. The funny thing is most of those people would probably assume my life is easy but in fact it's conquering the hardships that make me happiest.

Each year life asks the silent question of us, what did you do this year? I want to ask you, were you happy this year? You have the power to change it all. You can only rely on yourself for happiness, at the end of 2016 will you be proud of what you have become in a year or will you have wanted to be more?

Forgive people, be humble and allow yourself to find a positive in the most painful of memories and you will have nothing more to ask of yourself when the question beckons. You will be even more complete than you have before.

Enjoy your time before New Year's Day my lovelies, till next time...
 
 
Fenny Trending Photos : theBERRY:
Sorry about the language but sometimes we just need to cut to the chase & please ourselves. Be happy.

Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude:


2015...a special Christmas

 
Three years ago on Christmas Eve I said goodbye to my family and flew to London to live. It was a 27 hour flight I had never taken before & a new kind of lifestyle ahead and with no family connections.

To make my journey smoother my lovely mother and sister gifted me with little flight care packages. My mum 27 scratch and win tickets, one for each hour of flying and my sister 27 little presents just to keep me in the Christmas spirit. It was so entertaining that during the time spent circling above Heathrow on Christmas morning I had to rush to finish scratching and unwrapping the presents! (Mum and Dad always told us to appreciate our Christmas moments).
 
This year's Christmas tree :)
At 7am on Christmas Day I landed in London, presents in hand, excitement in heart and a huge amount of family love with me despite being hemispheres apart. To handle the jetlag as best as possible I walked from my apartment in Notting Hill to Kensington Gardens where I sat surrounded by vivacious squirrels and heard the excitement of British children running to the Princess Diana Memorial play park shouting 'Can we play yet Daddy?!' It instantly reminded me of home; children playing on Christmas day surrounded by family.
 
This year I was again away from home, in London, except this year is a super special year. I now know part of my English family I have never met, I have my old friends from years gone by and some brilliant new ones. But most of all I have  the same gifts (I purposely re bought them for myself) my family once gave me all three years ago when I first took the leap of faith and jumped ship, so it feels like they were right here with me. Every time I put my Mor Belladonna hand cream on I'm reminded of the flight instantly and how distance will never separate how close I am to my family. I guess until recently, when I started missing them again and for the first time in a while put on my hand  cream again did I realise that scent was a beautiful way to remember the true gift I have for Christmas and every day. To make things more special this Christmas my mother sent baubles all the way from Australia with each of my family member's names on them so I could decorate my tree. My friends and I joined together on Christmas day, sharing secret Santa gifts, laughing and bringing together a Christmas dinner pulled together by everyone playing their part. It was my version of the play park with family, my London family and it made this Christmas so very special.
 
Special baubles from my lovely mother delivered from Aus
 
My London 'family' for Christmas this year- a bunch of travelling orphans...and a whole lot of fun!
 
To all my readers, I trust you enjoyed your Christmas. I hope you cherish the old and the new, recognize the real gifts of Christmas and find a way to keep them in your heart, not just on Christmas but all year long.

Julia
 


 

 



 
 

Tuesday 6 October 2015

What are you looking for?

Hello! Its great to be back writing to you again! Today I want to talk to you about the question we are always asked:

What are you looking for?

I have written on many occasions about the purpose of a positivity driven lifestyle and how that creates opportunities beyond belief. I have also written about how it is important to go after what you want. The irony is life always challenges us after we have shown confidence. These hurdles become a measuring stick for assessing whether 'what your looking for' is still the same thing. Do you still yearn for that thing, person, lifestyle, career, body shape you had before? If you don't...what next?

In essence the message is the same, try and not lose faith, remain positive. As I have said before life is always about the silver linings. We must look for them. There is no harm in deciding that what you once had no longer serves you but at some point you will need to stop and assess how far you have travelled. You will need to decide whether you are happy with the distance you have travelled holistically or whether you want more and if that means moving on.

In the past 6 weeks everything in my life has constantly begged the same question again and again, 'what do you want?' It is like life is screaming it at me, begging me to yell back the answer however I don't have all the answers right now. The frustration has lead to random bursts of tears and an overall lack of motivation and all the while I have forgotten up until today one vital thing- nothing happens while you're stationary.

This applies to everything. If you are not trying to follow your dreams, be creative, chase the career you want, put yourself out there for a partner, improve your relationships, be committed to  your health then you can't expect silver linings to happen. The sad reality is if it takes as long as it has for me of late to grasp this concept you end up chasing negatives and never seeing the beautiful graces in things working out or, not working out. Everything does happen for a reason.

A few years ago I left London and I was saddened that it had to happen. I really didn't want to leave; returning this year and making things happen is one of the best things I have ever done. I didn't realise it at the time, because I said I was coming back for friends and more travel, but I had just allowed myself the opportunity to succeed at something I always thought I failed at and that was a gift I gave myself. Any time we pick ourselves up and try again we are betting on ourselves, we are saying we are worth it, we are picking our battles and deciding our best battle is with our own mentality.

Tomorrow I have been in London for 6 months. I look back on my time and I see wonderful travel, new career connections and some of the greatest friends I've had in my life. Even if the 'what am I looking for' question changes those silver linings will never be taken away and that's something to be grateful for everyday. So...to those special people in my life who supported me the past little while when I was struggling beyond belief thanks for being my silver lining, my little rays of sunshine.

I look forward to some more London writes with you all & sharing some exciting news. Until next time...

Saturday 29 August 2015

I want to be ridiculously in love with my life

The notion of being someone who loves every inch of their life is something everyone chases but how do you do it?
 
1. Forget the 'shoulds'
Do not do what society projects you need to be doing right now and just do what you want. If you listen to the shoulds it is only you that will be unequivocally upset with your life. You don't need to please anyone but yourself and what's more...you can't actually please anyone properly if you are pleasing a societal expectation that silently controls you. Live the life you want.
 
There's an indescribable peace knowing you've done what you can, you're happy with the outcome, and whatever anyone thinks is insignificant. - The Sculptress
 
2. Choose the things in your life that make you, you and chase them with a mind full of goals
When you prioritise the pie pieces of your life what can you not live without? What 'hobbies' didn't you actively pursue every week? Cut those. It doesn't mean you don't love them it just means you can channel your love into a hobby that makes you well you. Here's an example- if I don't write, sing or exercise in a week I feel 'off' like I am not myself, when I reconnect with these things its like I am back, returned to Jules again. I crave these things. Massage, drawing even travel I love and thoroughly enjoy but if it didn't exist or I became incapable of doing them it wouldn't change me as a person. Comprehende?
 
“Have the courage to start something that matters” | MelissaAmbrosini.com
 
3. Affirm your own awesomeness to yourself.
Write down your strengths and weaknesses and start immersing yourself in positive affirmations that make your weaknesses your strengths. Realise the vast qualities, talents and sills you have to offer others. If someone doesn't appreciate these there will be plenty of others who will so don't sweat it. If this part is more difficult for you get a healthy overdose of positive affirmations, litter your life with them by placing them everywhere in your house, workspace and that dreaded screen you look at.
 
Pew! Pew! Pew! That's the sound of me deflecting your negative attitude with my happiness shield!
 
4. Expect only the best.
It is true that our expectations are reflected in our results. Sometimes it can be highly frustrating knowing that you  have been waiting for a long time but the wait is always worth it. The amount of times people have told me I'm snobbish because I expect high qualities in others, men and businesses and that I don't budge on the fact is so frequent it is unable to be counted. However doing as others have suggested and settling for less has meant I never sacrificed my goals or my happiness. At 29 with a book just finished being written, living overseas for the second time, having travelled 15 countries and being in the possession of a job I love and am appreciated in whilst kicking some major personal goals I can't say I'm disappointed in my choice.
 
Opportunity: Expect the best from every situation! Challenges: Negative thinking. Fear of disappointment & of disappointing.
 
5. Take risks that scare you a little
The best way I can talk about this is to discuss my two competing loves; writing and helping children succeed. Whilst I love and always will, teaching, it is (especially if you never try for a promotion) a safe career where you are constantly stable. It pays the bills. Sadly, this fact alone means that the profession sees various lazy teachers who work uninspired and effectively demonstrate that they couldn't careless about the kids and for the most part it is a mission to let these lack lustre teachers go. In comparison creative careers like writing demand their workers to constantly evolve and take risks, it takes a leap of faith to get yourself and your work out their and noticed. It may mean infrequent pay cycles, work schedules and uncertainty but it may also come with great reward. Whatever the leap of faith in any career, for a promotion or otherwise, back yourself and your abilities, the absolute worst thing that can happen is you'll learn from it. So as Nike says...Just do it!
Positive Quotes - Coolfreeimages.net
 
It it scares you, it might be a good thing to try.
 
These five things are the simple secrets to successfully loving your life however there is one final, vital thing to remember. BE SELFISH. In a world driven by selfishness it is the epitome of irony that we don't place the importance on the right selfishness and that's the utter need to selfishly own our right to be happy- forget the possessions, be greedy and selfish about the things that will bring you lifelong lasting happiness. Most of all remember not to feel guilty about it, you are the one that lives your life and nobody else.
 
I hope this has helped some people who are looking to find a path they love instead of one they are on, it mightn't be an epic change it could mean a small tweaking. I hope that you find the courage to grant yourself your own happiness by chasing what you want. It really does make a world of difference. Since I've lived in London I've had a new lease on life, people (even those I don't know) constantly questioning my biological age when I tell them I'm actually not 24years old, I'm 5 years older, for me this is an one indication that how I feel on the inside is radiated on the outside and it all came to be from a few decisions. Happy Saturday lovelies.
 
Never settle. Fight for the life, the career, the dreams, the love that you deserve. - Mandy Hale

Thursday 6 August 2015

Open your eyes...

Eyes wide open, brows raised and a cheeky, 'I did it' grin of confidence supported by a tall posture and an outward look. It's the look shown by someone who takes a punt on themselves and pursues their dreams. Whether you are 5, 25 or 70 the look doesn't change and neither does the effervescent feeling of being on top of the world. Sometimes described as the light bulb moment, when an individual finally discovers how bright they have made their own world by choosing to live for their passion.
 
I did it. On my own with no help, no short cuts  no hookups. Just me.
 
Life is about passion. When we commit to doing things with passion we gain a zest for life we would otherwise miss out on. Everyone has that one thing they love to their very core that they know they would be different without but do we all live it?
 
Over the past 8 weeks or so I have been working on a project that would help me to discover what life would be like being paid to carry out my passion every day. I have written a book. This book is the very first of which I will publish myself and put on iBooks for viewers to read. I am a little nervous about it's success but I am super excited to be finally putting my name to something and taking the punt on myself in a larger fashion. As you are probably fully aware I am not a paid writer or blogger, I operate purely on the drive to publish (via posts) work that I feel gives an honest voice to an increasingly politically correct and bland society. Like authors of eras gone by I recognise that literature plays a pivotal role in societal change and whilst I might be one person that's all I need to be to affect change.
 
This is where The Pursuit of Greatness comes about. This book, currently in the final editing phase, shares how physical pursuits alter an individual for life making them more successful and fulfilled in all that they do. Largely based on my training, defeats and successes of Mt Everest, I feel that it will connect with any individual who is seeking to find an unstoppable mindset and healthy confidence for a lifetime. I look forward to sharing with you how the final days of this book comes together and how I feel about my journey as a soon to-be author.
 
I am a writer :: I write because words live on me and inside of me ...
 
Already I can tell you that I have thoroughly enjoyed committing time to my passion for writing and my passion for health, fitness and adventure. It hasn't really felt like work because I have fun doing it; even if my eyes feel like squares after editing the book 12 times or I've gone around in circles deciding which way I wanted to write the sentence only to write it the same way as I had it in the first instance!
 
The process has really got me thinking about how many people work everyday in a job they aren't passionate about. Please don't miss hear me, I love educating people in all walks of life and am very passionate about it however the dream job is to write books. At present I'm making it happen by taking a punt on my work and that alone feels great, therefore the success of the book is virtually irrelevant but what about those people who have no passion for what they do at all? In the United Kingdom the average working week is 48hours or 1344 hours per year provided you get your 4 weeks of annual leave each year. 1344 hours is a long time to be stuck in a job that you don't like especially when we know that health is directly related to our emotional state. Imagine if you could work 1344 days in a job you loved where you didn't count the hours, minutes, seconds of the work day? Where you weren't looking at Friday memes on Facebook from Tuesday lunchtime? Where you didn't feel like punching someone in the face for their idiotic management decision that was made without any input from the frontline workers? It would be pretty sweet wouldn't it. Well it only takes one thing. You.
 
This reminds me of when Marmee from Little Women tells Jo, "Jo, you have so many extraordinary gifts; how can you expect to lead an ordinary life?"
 
Yes, you need to decide to take a punt on yourself, give yourself a go (as Aussies would say) and back that business idea that you've always had, take a chance on an idea you have and be prepared to get uncomfortable for a bit to increase your happiness. Kick those goals you always dreamt of achieving and walk to work with those eyes wide open, brows raised and a cheeky 'I did it' smile. There will be plenty of people ready to criticise but at the end of the day only you who will sit with regret in your mind. So get ballsy and make that passion you have your life. I dare you.
 
Till next time...

"In the end we only regret the chances we didn't take." So be risky because you would rather look back and say I can't believe I did that instead of I can't believe I didn't do that.
 
 
PS: To all my fellow writers.. never forget this...
 
"If you want to write, you can. Fear stops most people from writing, not lack of talent, whatever that is. Who am I? What right have I to speak? Who will listen to me if I do? You’re a human being, with a unique story to tell, and you have every right. If you speak with passion, many of us will listen. We need stories to live, all of us. We live by story. Yours enlarges the circle." ~Richard Rhodes

Saturday 11 July 2015

The health and fitness lies you are fed

Yesterday I wrote about the need to eat well, exercise to show respect for your amazing body. The problem is many people pay attention to long standing fallacies that plague an industry with some pretty amazing minds. So here's a quick post to put a stop to the nonsense based on my study in health, anatomy and physiology, fitness programming, strength and conditioning.

A quick education into health and fitness

1. Fat is good. Well good fat is good.
Dose up on it. I'm talking nut oils, omega 3 fats that come from fish, avocado- all the very best foods. These foods will help improve your mood as well as help you lose weight.

Eat foods with omega-3s. Foods like avocados have omega-3 fatty acids that contain a myriad of benefits. Don’t get turned off by the word fatty. These acids help regulate blood sugar and inflammation, which can help keep your metabolism steady. |  Boost Your Metabolism hack

2. Fat, protein, carbs- the chain of energy burning command.
This means that your body will burn fat first and then protein and so on. This is why people tell you to ease off on carbohydrates (like pasta) but carbohydrates are your friend you must have them in your diet. You just can't have a diet solely of carbs without an active lifestyle.

3. HIIT (high intensity interval training), tabata, Fartlek training and crossfit are your friend. They work on maximum effort in shorter bursts increasing thresholds (aerobic and anaerobic- movement with and without oxygen) whilst developing a range of muscle groups. These types of fitness are the forms you want to participate in to create a body transformation. Not regular straight, slow paced cardio. Ok? The bonus is these training methods fit perfectly with our time poor world (and over scheduled lives) and therefore leave no excuse for respecting our bodies and making that healthy change. Make it a priority.

Tone in Twenty Workouts- 5 do anywhere HIIT style plans! #fitness #workoutplans #healthy

4. The method of training purely dictates the physical outcomes.
If you complete exhaustion training (repetitions until failure) you will build muscular endurance and lean muscle mass. If  you work to intervals you will increase aerobic, anaerobic capacity, ability to clear lactic acid from the muscles and develop tone. If you do heavy weights with small repetitions focusing only on power and strength with long recovery periods in between you will be working to build your muscle and increase it's size. If you are running on a treadmill, riding your bike you will work your aerobic or lung capacity, maybe  your legs if you go fast enough or if you hit hills frequently at pace.

5. Women who lift weights will NOT end up looking like men. This is probably the biggest fallacy of them all. I'm not sure whether its simply weak minded men coming up with this notion or women who are scared they'll surprise themselves with how capable they truly are. Personally feeling strong physically is empowering in more ways than one and from experience, men (especially those with great character) do look at you differently and its not about your physical appearance- that I think is something worth striving for. So remember ladies...and men...strong women who lift weights they are those women that men ogle over in the movies. Toned, lean, confident and healthy.

Image on Hiit Blog http://www.dailyhiit.com/hiit-blog/social-gallery/c7e6de87160f81c7-mornign-exercisepreview-3

6. Your muscles operate in pairs. Therefore if you work your biceps for example and not your triceps you will end in an injury. Similarly if you hold weight in your stomach your back will always be week. Furthermore men who work on their chest, arms and back and never their legs not just look disproportionate but they are also putting unnecessary pressure on the lower half of their body. Bottom line- Marvel characters can run with an excessive V shaped body humans not so comfortably.

7. Weight on a scale means nothing. Measurements are what you should go by. Why? When your measurements shrink it is because you have increased your lean muscle mass. The only concern is for women...do not measure yourself around the time of your period. Many of us bloat at this time, there's no point losing motivation over a monthly body ritual.

8. Skipping meals DOES DECREASE your metabolism and will result at some point in overeating which entirely defeats your mindset about skipping a meal in the first place. Just eat.

9. Rest days are the key to success. Rest includes things you mightn't consider as 'nothing' like walking barefoot and singing or meditating with your feet up against a wall. Without your rest days your workouts are ruined, so rest.

Take time to rest...your body and soul need it.

10. I have to work out for a long time to get the effects of exercise. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Again it depends on what you want. Yes you can easily do a few hours pumping weights no issue to have a low to medium intensity and control of your muscles is essential but if your focus is blasting fat and conditioning 3 hour gym workouts aren't for you. You need to think about what you are trying to achieve and as you are improving alter what you do. Don't start with 30 minute medium workouts if 30 minutes is easy for you- change the intensity or change the duration of your workout. Remember if it doesn't challenge you it certainly won't change you. So get sweaty!

11. I can never eat anything I want. Rubbish. You can, you just need to understand that the more you eat that has high calorific content the more you need to exercise. If you don't have time then re-evaluate your food choices.

12. Sleep. The key to nailing your life. Invest in it. I mean an expensive bed, duvet, linens, pillows all of it. Investing in your sleep will be the best investment you ever make.

“This is my sleepsuit. I’m just, like, getting prepped.” | 21 Animals Who Will Definitely Not Stay Up Until Midnight

Any questions? Hit me up.

Till next time...stay happy and healthy!

Jules....
Be healthy AMEN...you reflect on the outside..the way you feel on the inside...

Tuesday 7 July 2015

The latest

Writers block. I'm starting to think that we only get writers block when we choose not to write about the things we feel most strongly about. Everyday I write. Everything counts and I celebrate the ability to write although it doesn't mean I give the work I have the right to be published- even on this blog. I'm not sure whether that's the perfectionist in me or whether I'm just afraid because I know the power of words.

25 Quotes That Will Inspire You To Be A Fearless Writer | “Write what disturbs you, what you fear, what you have not been willing to speak about. Be willing to be split open.” —Natalie Goldberg

Two weeks ago I met an artist Nic Joly in person, we chatted and spoke about what inspires creativity in all artists, whether they create sculptures or scripts. In our conversation it was so pleasing to meet someone who so passionately sees his work as a medium to confront or change the world. His latest exhibition, of which I desperately hope I can purchase my favourite piece from in the near future, The Pen is Mightier than the Sword, showcases the duality of light and dark that exists in all of us. If you live in London you must make a point of seeing it at Castle Galleries in Covent Garden or Canary Wharf. If you do not jump online and read about Nic Joly or check out his Facebook page here.

'the pen is mightier than the sword'

In any case the conversation I shared with Nic instantly inspired me and made me realise how complimentary artists creativity is to each other. A few minutes after meeting him I also met a screen writer. The difference was he didn't reveal his character until the end of the conversation when he filled me in on a rom-com he had worked on a bit more than a decade prior. It was such a pleasure to talk to a man who allowed the conversation to be just about creativity without any preface to his title or success. Though I must state I thought it was hilarious to say what I do and the amount of short stories I have written when you compare it to a man who's film is known to everyone my age or older. What was nicer though was that I could share my creativity without being considered a 'nothing'. Had the conversation been different or perhaps had I met Kanye West in disguise I bet the conversation wouldn't have gone past 'I'. 

"Create what sets your heart on fire and it will illuminate the path ahead." // lovely ink via print & pattern

For about a week after these encounters I wrote anything and everything and I brought out some old pieces that I previously had not published and decided to prepare them for the blog. Overall these little events made me realise that as writers we choose to censor our own words at times. We mustn't do that. The world, individuals, groups, ideology and dominant discourse seeks to censor us on a daily basis, our words matter, they mean something not just for the benefit of keeping ourselves sane, for sharing our gift and our thoughts but also as a vessel for change. We do not need to listen to critics, jealous types nor naysayers we simply need to have a little self belief and an attitude that no one has the right to censor who we are. To showcase my commitment to my words, over the next week or so you are going to see posts I previously censored from the spotlight, I hope you enjoy them as much I had enjoyed writing them.

Till next time...


25 Quotes That Will Inspire You To Be A Fearless Writer

Friday 22 May 2015

What is bravery?

When you think of a brave character what comes to mind? For most I imagine it would be the character who saves the day, helps out others, takes a great risk that appears to come at a huge potential cost to themselves. So what is bravery? 

The presence of courage? The ability to overcome adversity? To show strength when it would be easier to crumble? To me this is where the non-stereotypical character in life wins the bravery race. A person who, for example, chooses to stay in an unhappy, unhealthy situation knowing day in and out that it does not serve them at all is far braver than a typical hero. To me risking your life doing crazy stunts that scare the hell out of you, climbing dangerous mountains, traveling solo, uprooting your life and taking a chance elsewhere are all typical kind of risks that whilst scary at least give you some freedom. You aren't locked in a cage. 

Granted I'm not somebody who has chosen to live like this for decades at a time but I do think that in part we all allow ourselves to have this sort of senseless bravery that traps our freedom and inhibits us from what we are entitled to experience in our lives. Whether that is travel, a new job, being in a happy relationship or simply experiencing the joy of change every once in a while; these risks are the ones that will give back, the ones we won't regret, the ones we will write about in a story. However we must not forget how life's hurdles handed us this stupid bravery in order to set us free again otherwise we wouldn't be the characters that we are. 

Today for the first time since I was 13years of age I am unemployed (from a paid job). It came about not because my employer wasn't happy with me, because they were and they still ask for me back everyday, but rather because for the first time in my life I decided that happiness had to take priority over a monetary value. Perhaps I will not look as the most employable person, especially after posting this, though to me I see it as a positive opportunity to find a workplace and career that fits with my positive outlook on life and helps me grow as a person and a professional. I never thought I would be what I used to deem as 'one of those people' who resign from a job with seemingly not a thought in the world. But I was wrong, resigning (from a workplace not my career I enjoy it!) was a hard, long, thought- out decision; it was also one of the best things I ever did. I am happier, healthier, my passion and zest for life is back in leaps and bounds. Up to this point in time I have worked ridiculously hard to build my career to what it is now an I have no doubt in my capabilities to find other work. When I find that workplace, that gives me freedom to grow, makes me happy to walk into work everyday and fits with who I am- I know I'll be the most dedicated worker there. In the meantime I get to meet people working different jobs (as they come along) from completely different perspectives, cultures and backgrounds and to me nothing could be more refreshing nor important. 

Till next time...

Jules :)  


An avant garde way of travel

Standing on the escalator on my ascent to Waterloo train station today when finally it hit me. Why doesn't society create an adult size baby bjorn? 

Can you imagine? Amongst your regular commuting traffic you lift your head to see the latest form of travel- the man carrier. Suddenly a fully grown male attached to his Schwarznegger counterpart turns and smiles at you from ear to ear. He's having the time of his life and is completely, blissfully aware that his feet are dangling while yours are dragging step by step behind a hoard of human traffic post 12hour shift at the office. Women strapped to men, men strapped to men and so forth; the options are endless really, I mean unless of course you couple up with a weakling, short person or it's summer on the central line. 

It's the very kind of travel you couldn't get angry about and hence perfect for London. Why? 
1. Simply witnessing an adult chest to chest cradling another adult will bring joy to another's face. Let alone a fully suspended forward facing adult on the Jubilee line to Willesden Green. 
2. Adult baby bjorn-ing is the new crossfit. I mean who needs a gym membership when you can carry your mate to work? It just makes sense. 
3. It's a budget saver- 2 people through a tube gate for the price of 1 (if your tricky). 4. Baby bjorn-ing a friend will most certainly always result in at least one 'return the favour' journey which can be used at a time of your convenience which means; sit back, make yourself comfortable and enjoy the ride! It's travel time! 





Thursday 7 May 2015

Life's little marvels

How we know God exists in cities

Last night I was watching Evan Almighty; in the film God, played by Morgan Freeman, spoke of how God doesn't give us what we want necessarily but the opportunity to earn what we want or learn how to fight for it. So I decided to bite & create a list for Londoners or city dwellers who are at times burdened with the beautiful hardships of city life. 

You know He exists when:
1. He makes you miss public transport for a minute only to have to wait 20minutes and learn some patience. 
2. You appreciate standing on public transport and lack of smell when someone's spring BO rivals off milk.
3. You feel constantly compelled to give to the poor knowing that you yourself have thought about stealing donation tins for a decent feed or your weekly travel card.
4. You appreciate communication when basic sign language is the only method of interaction. 
5. Conversely you appreciate the ability for facial expressions to speak a multitude of things when you encounter uncouth individuals and save your integrity from being destroyed. 
6. You learn respect and love when somebody you least expect puts you amicably in your place but for your benefit. 
7. You learn hope and faith when one person, makes you grateful for the human race through a random act of kindness towards you or another. 

Every day in the city is a rat race, it takes a conscious decision to slow down for me to really observe what's around. It is the easiest thing to miss all the beauty of life and when we are bogged down, maybe with negative experiences, bad news or a world that seems closed in we only need to, look up. 

Happy Wednesday. Till next time...

Jules







Monday 13 April 2015

A big adventure!

A written revolution has moved to London!

I am very excited to announce that we have moved to London and will now be writing from the UK and several holiday destinations nearby. I am very excited to bring you my latest from London even though I will always miss Australia and the beginnings of this little blog (let's face it it's still little..for now).

It almost feels like new year again with so many exciting opportunities up for grabs. You might be wondering what spurred this on? Well at Christmas my UK/Euro trip left me teary eyed & with no doubt...London had to become home again. So as writing and life goes, you might see a few changes here but in essence I'll still be bringing you writing tips, original works of mine, health tips for a fit body and mind & some downright thought provoking pieces. I request your company on my journey! 

Remember to continue following and sharing the page via google+ or Facebook! I look forward to sharing my next chapter with you! 

Ciao, 
Jules 

Tuesday 3 March 2015

Why you must never give up on what you want...

Those who get what they want are greedy, but they aren't stupid.

Ever scolded someone for what they have without true knowledge to make an actual judgment? Well step back, the person you just criticised could give you some pointers.


In life we want for everything, the reality of our dreams, superb possessions, immaculate love but are we greedy for it? It is certainly true that greed should not consume our minds and take our souls away from being decent but being greedy is also entirely necessary for happiness.


Many people think to have happiness you must find the perfect job and have all your ducks in a row. Why? What's wrong with identifying something that you want and going for it?


Here's why, people know greed they don't know about greed for a cause. If you want something, work hard for it, you will be rewarded for your effort. Therefore if there is something you want to achieve get green eyed about it. Be possessive, protect your will to see it through and do everything to make it happen. Nothing ever came from sitting back, hoping, praying and wishing.
On January 15 I arrived back in Australia from a European tour. I was saddened that I have to leave friends, go to work and face the prospects of saving for a house and travel whilst waiting for my next scheduled holidays to come around. The adventure was zapped out of me and I realised where I am is not me anymore, at least not for now.


This may have explained my otherwise inexplicable but constant sobbing on my 24 hour flight home. I'd never felt anything like it. Trying not to pay attention to my emotions (as I'd experienced travel blues before) was the key. Needless to say the day after I returned home I asked about the cost of flights to return to London.


After weeks heading back to work and hoping I'd feel normal once routine had set in, I still felt sad. I began to enquire about work back in London and did up some detailed 'maybe' plans. I still had no direct intention of booking anything without ensuring these feelings weren't just regular blues. After all London was never on the cards again, at least in my head.


Needless to say after some more time I was convinced that my feelings to go 'home' wouldn't dissipate. I booked flights, spoke to my boss and anxiously anticipated the response. A few days ensued where I became physically nauseous about the reaction to leave work for an extended period of time and after I had essentially just started back. I'm pleased to say though after having the conversation stress lifted immediately. I was certain I had made the right choice. From here on in everything fell into place. My flights became cheaper by the time I finally paid them off, work was easily being found and at a fast rate (still is), I had no difficulty selling my gear, I was gifted with an iPhone from a family friend and not once did 'odd' feelings pop into my head. Asking the question to have time off and so soon is the biggest risk in my career to date but I also know that it will pay off in more ways than one.


In 2012 London grew me, as a person, writer and teacher. A risk it may be to leave at this point in time but it is definitely not one I will regret. I am so thankful for my opportunity and how blessed I am to return to London so soon. I am happy I became greedy about it and pursued my desires, after all I know had I not listened to how I felt I would be facing an entirely different situation filled with sadness, where I would have felt trapped. Now it is mere weeks until I leave and I cannot contain my excitement for adventure.


Life is about being persistent, being greedy and healthily asking for what you want. We owe it to ourselves to have the courage to see our dreams through. We owe it to ourselves to ask for what we want the most and fully expect that we deserve it. No one should look back on life and wonder on the 'ifs'. Embrace all that you are, want to be and achieve and do not compromise, your dreams will come true.


Till next time...


Jules


about, Inspiration, life, motivation, philosophical, quotes



Friday 20 February 2015

How to stay on the success bandwagon for life

'I'm so disappointed, I could have done it, I just didn't...I'd like to say I had no time but that'd be a
lie.'
New Years fitness resolutions can be haunting, they leave you spilling your pity guts to your closest friends in a random brainstorming attempt to discover 'the secret to success' to fulfilling your goals for the following year. We love our drama filled approach for the holy grail of knowledge so much so that we forget the secret to success lies solely in our head and instead bash ourselves consistently with inadequacy whenever we fall off the bandwagon.

You awake at 5.30am to the obedience of your trusty alarm clock only to discover that the confidence and motivation you oozed last night is gone. Your bed sheets become a cloud of ecstasy teasing you to forget your goal and just do the workout tomorrow. You feel your body heavy, sore and peacefully calm, you decide it's best not to mess with nature, after all you wouldn't feel this way if your body wasn't trying to tell you something.
'Just listen to me' the bed sheets whisper. An hour later, conveniently too late to workout, you sit there feeding your mouth with guilt in every bite. You convince yourself that tomorrow will be different, nothing will break you and you WILL achieve your goal. Wrong.



This psychological mind play occurs to everyone, athletes aren't even exempt, it does and will derail your efforts to success and it is not the only one. Moods, long workdays, colleagues, children or family stressing you out or the classic...your apparent belief that you have no time to exercise, will all attempt to ruin your ability to achieve fitness success. As soon as you fix your headspace (and constantly work on this) you will experience achievement. 

Unfortunately everyday individuals aren't told by society the importance of psychology on developing positive, long lasting habits, instead we categorise that to the elite few or find warm, fuzzy and shallow ways to explain to people how to overcome everyday challenges. So I'm giving my tips. Am I a qualified psychologist? No. I have however experienced again and again failures from a weak mindset and success from applying sports psychology strategies not just to my fitness life but every other aspect of my life. For me it has meant hiking for 10hours straight on my own or putting myself through extensive training for Everest has never been out of reach and I'm not a six pack adorning female.



First of all it begins with acknowledging what your weaknesses are. This is the hardest part because many of us don't like to admit our weaknesses but when we know them we can plan things appropriately. For example, most people plan their exercise in the afternoon post work but most people who do this also find it easy to skip out on their exercise due to work related excuses, poor organisation at home or meetings they forgot existed. This is the first step to derailment. Exercise in the morning until you know that 100% of the time you've organised afternoon exercise you will follow through with it. If not get up even for a few minutes in the morning until you get used to it, you'll get endorphins, energy and a free afternoon to yourself! Afternoon exercise does take more motivation and commitment so if your mindset isn't strong, don't go there. Also, tune into your excuses, your current workout mindset. Do you stop at 8 repetitions because you've convinced yourself your incapable of doing more? Most people can complete 3 to 5 repetitions more than what they think. Do you yell, argue or verbally get frustrated with a trainer about how you're feeling?  Sorry honey, hate to tell you, this is just another excuse. Fully, committed people who are training to achieve fitness (of any original state of health) do not have the energy to yell, kick scream or get cranky- you've got a lot more in you when you're like this. I've got an injury, I can't possibly go on. Ask yourself this- does this excuse come flying through your head when your working your hardest? Good, it means your workout is effective, don't stop you're not actually injured. Here's another old age excuse- everyone will see me exercise, I can't go to the gym! Let me let you in on a secret from years worth of gyms. Gyms generally contain two groups of people- a group too focused on achieving their personal goals and another too focused on checking out their 'guns' in the mirror. No one is looking at you. You'll be fine. In any case no one derails your success other than you. People might read this and think it's harsh but let's be real, it's your goal, you own it, you can achieve it. Decide if you want to be haunted by your weaknesses, your excuses or be fulfilled by your success, then work on your mind some more.



Enter life hurdle number 1. What happens if I am awake and I suddenly realise I have no socks, bra, shoes are elsewhere or I'm missing my gym card? Surely that means I can skip the workout right? No. The best way to overcome this is with a two pronged approached. Sleep with motivational fitness memes in your room, have one in your car as well make sure it's not warm and fuzzy, make sure it challenges you. Place it right where you will see it. This will encourage you to get out of bed. Then if you happen to forget equipment no matter take a walk, you only require yourself to enjoy this. Drive to a park or beach if you have no shoes enjoy the sensory stimulation from the grass fronds or sand granules on the soles of your feet, take deep breaths and enjoy the fresh air. Either way the idea is that you allow your body to reward yourself with endorphins for your effort. If you don't experience endorphins at first you certainly won't experience guilt. 



When you make it to the gym forget the reps and sets. Yes, you heard me right. Most countries are riding a crossfit craze at the moment, while it's not for everyone there is something average joes (until we achieve our awesome success) can take away from these intense workouts. Decide on the machines or weighted exercises (works for cardio as well) you'd like to do and complete an AMRAP workout; do as many repetitions as possible. Record in a book what you were able to achieve and your starting weight. You can do this without a trainer. As you build your fitness levels through regular workouts go back every 10 days and see what gains you have made- use the same weight you started with. Record. Not only should you see an improvement in muscular strength and endurance but you will also initially determine what your capabilities are which is something a cookie cutter approach of 3 sets and 15 repetitions will never give you. 

As you workout more and experience more success you will come to learn that you will be challenged more. The 'fitness demons' of derailment will visit more frequently. Yes, the beginning of a fitness program is the easiest. Maintaining focus, motivation and striving for success when success may start to become smaller amounts of fat percentage, weight or slightly longer distances is difficult. This is where you need to learn specific  sports psychology techniques. Arousal and concentration, mental rehearsal, mental imagery and centring is important. Let's start with arousal and concentration. 

Arousal and concentration is about finding your optimal headspace. It's the point where your excited but not too excited or relaxed for movement and therefore the headspace were the best performance occurs. Different activities will require different levels of arousal. For example, running up several sets of stairs requires me to have a fair level of arousal so that my feet are moving fast, I'm motivated to keep going and I don't stop and get lactic acid building up in my muscles. So when I run the stairs I like to play upbeat music from the HIIT playlist on spotify. When I'm completing several hundred box jumps at table height I need a slightly lower level of arousal because I need to concentrate more on powering up from my legs to make the height, landing evenly with two feet and supporting my back by keeping my abdominals on tight- when I get tired I need to concentrate more for safety. Most people know their mind and what arouses it. The trick is finding ways to also calm us down. For some merely concentrating works, for others it's a lengthy process that is only achieved over time. Achieving improved fitness is entirely personal so this will not be an easy process. You need to think, when you get frustrated with performance or lack of it, how does your behaviour help your end game?



This leads us to mental rehearsal and mental imagery. These are both quite similar. Personally I find mental imagery extremely useful however I have a creative mind and so conjuring images in my mind is simple. So what are these techniques? Mental rehearsal enables you to practice every aspect of your performance, running or squatting, in your mind without moving a muscle. This means you are envisaging the movement of your body at each point in the exercise, how it feels, how freely it moves, your strength. The more you practice the more successful you will feel inside. For example, I used to daydream virtually everyday that my left ankle, once broken in 2 places, would land on the ground, off a stair or a train platform and automatically break leaving me stranded, helpless and devastated. Once I started applying mental rehearsal to this situation I would frequently daydream about successful landings. This took a lot of time and probably about 30 to 40 practices until I actually believed my ankle was stable enough but now (a long time after- 2.5years) I can complete thousands of box jumps, jump squats etc with no pain and no fear of snapping my ankle. Does my mind ever revert to the fear days? Yes. So I rehearse again until confidence is restored. Now when you add mental rehearsal and mental imagery together you have performance made in heaven. Mental imagery is about imagining all the phases of the performance as well as the scenery, the emotions, the noise etc. When I was training for Everest to assist my mind to create images I would use previous hiking videos of the trail so that I could imagine my body in those conditions, experiencing their experiences and feeling how they felt. By the time the mountain was closed for avalanches I had committed to memory, myself on every part of the trail to Everest base camp. This was also one of the reasons that made it so hard to work my day job when I should of been hiking because my mind was so entrenched in the process from long hard effort and constant practice. Now I know without preparing myself to witness a myriad of things my experience in Nepal will be far more challenging. Therefore in my opinion I think especially those who bash themselves with their own self hate, you need these techniques. You need to see yourself where you want to be achieving what you want to achieve so that you are haunted by your motivation. Then I promise you, you won't stop. However if you do stop, I have one more tip for you. Try centring.



Centring is one's ability to shut out all outside noise and focus on your task alone- I guess it's the woosar of all sports psychology techniques. This means children, gym junkies, skimpily clad chicks 'pumping iron', the person with the bad BO, your busy checklist and most of all your defeatist attitude all gone. If you cannot stop and focus on your task and stay bashing yourself with words then you won't change. Pity parties get tiring for even the most kindhearted people; no one wants to hear how much you hate yourself and your body day in and day out. You have a choice, move it or lose it. So spend time thinking of nothing other than the minute steps you need to take to achieve success. If you don't know how ask someone. Achieve one, two, then three of these minute steps and all the while do not let Mr or Ms Negative crawl into your workout, it's me time. Totally relax, appreciate yourself. Love yourself. If you don't, no one will. If you go off track once, use your arousal and concentration techniques to get you refocused and think nothing more of it. 

When your workout is done and you have applied these psychology techniques document how you feel. If it wasn't a good session, it doesn't matter tomorrow's a new day and you can always throw your dodgy emotions in the bin anyway. Whatever you do write down how you feel. Choosing not to write down your emotions will lead to stewing over it all day long (or longer than you should) and preventing you from seeing all the effort you have put in to achieve success and all effort is worth noticing.

I hope you enjoyed this article. I know you'll experience some success when you try these techniques. Please share any comments or thoughts below. 






Wednesday 11 February 2015

It's simple Love

Love. I always had romantic ideas of how it's meant to be. As a young girl I dreamt nothing more of meeting 'Mr Prince Charming' getting married at 21 and having my first child at 23. Now at 29 I'm glad I soon learnt that my 'ideal' form of romanticism was far too naive and left no room to love myself or to enjoy a career of my own. Then came romance of the teenage years where famous peoples faces and half naked bodies were thrown across magazines like meat; myself a keen reader. My idea of romance became another form of jaded naivety, a checklist of physical attributes. Either way history serves me with plenty of laughs from memories once realities and romance well, it hasn't changed much.

Young girls still dream of that amazing wedding day, stunning dress and brute of a man at the end of the aisle. Teenagers still prim their hair hoping Zac Efron will turn up around the corner (don't worry me too sometimes) and daily women still fantasise that their Mr will display the attributes of McDreamy. It's all a lovely ideal but nothing more.

You see love ceases to exist where expectations fail to recognise truth. I'm no expert on love but I doubt I'd find any woman or man who said their expectations and jaded ideas of their Mr or Mrs didn't blow up in their face at least once. Expectations are essential but what they silently comment is that even the most decent person isn't good enough; it's not people you should question it's expectation. 

Everyone wants to be swept off their feet by someone so much so that it is easy to forget that the sweeper mightn't wear Giorgio Armani, have a rocking hot body and no hang ups. In fact they definitely won't. Life isn't a Hollywood movie and it's success doesn't operate on ratings. It's the little things that count. It's the little things that build a life with someone or tear it down.

You only need to be appreciated, respected and thought of to know that you're loved. You do not require fancy attire, slick hair dos, exotic accents or the thickest wallet. You need to receive and give love willingly. Hold hands, smile, make each other laugh, sit in silence, challenge each other boldly, appreciate the awkwardness when you both don't know what's next and trust that when you are thought of you are in safe hands. To share this would be greater than any Hollywood romance. It doesn't come with an age range, a career stipulation or the physical degradation of another person but simply the total acceptance of another and the faith and hope to see it through. 

I hope everyday, not just when you are reminded of love (like on or around Valentine's Day), your heart can see how superbly simple love is. Live it, relish it, hope for it. 

Ciao lovelies xo


Thursday 29 January 2015

Australia's red faced blemish

Hot under the collar? That'd be because your body is holding more solar energy than panels we have erected in our sunburnt country of Australia. 

Travelling around the world and particularly Europe you encounter time and time again solar panels and wind farms. These are countries that for the most part of their year see rain and very little sunlight compared to our sunburnt country yet these countries demonstrate a commitment to helping the environment. As a tourist when other travellers question if Australia is tapping into the healthy gold mine of green energy it is extremely embarrassing to state that in fact our nation's leaders do nothing. It's about time we start questioning why our government is happy to endorse the devastation of habitats by failing to be green.

Each year Australians experience on average 8 hours of sunlight, 18-24 Megajoules of solar exposure per square metre and an average wind velocity of 6-15km/hr. Our continent is the driest in the world with 20% land that is officially desert. A staggering 70% of our nation receives less than 500millilitres of water a YEAR. How is it that we sit on our hands with little to no solar or wind farms? Call me crazy but for an economically strong country we are squandering our chances to leave behind a healthy country for future generations or a place that is affordable to live for others.

Currently Brisbane, Queensland is the second most expensive city to live in second to London; our nation has privatised electricity companies and couples can pay up to $700 for 3months of electricity. Previous governments have put in place solar enticing opportunities but due to privatisation the energy companies have started to steal money from even the energy conscious. Wake up to yourselves parliament our nation isn't experiencing record breaking floods and droughts from no fault of our own. You cannot buy the environment. 

In one generation's time it is highly probable children will be using google to comprehend what wildlife and world heritage Australian sites once existed. In decades stunning cities like Venice only able to be witnessed via diving expedition, if you dare enter the water. Cost of living in Australia will be exponentially increased by a domino of natural disasters year in year out. What will it take to prioritise the environment? Will you stop thinking superficially about landscapes and start turning toward a mindset that acknowledges landscape extinction born of your inaction if change doesn't happen now? 

The 'littering' of solar panels and wind turbines are a positive reminder that our society, you, value our environment. It acknowledges that humans recognise they are one piece of the universe's puzzle. The only eyesore, red faced blemish Australia faces is the worldwide knowledge that we do not appreciate our amazing, naturally diverse landscape and we demonstrate this through failing to act on climate change.  Politicians it's time you felt hot under the collar, got your act together and made changes for the good of your society. I dare you. 

Thursday 15 January 2015

A miniature muse

Just a little something for your day. See what you think. Feedback is appreciated. 

'Our eyes do not deceive. Irrespective of where you are from, what language you speak or whether you can be understood our eyes always see the real emotion of people. Sorrow, joy, love, excitement, wonder, anger and fear are universal. You may walk the streets of any city in the world not understand a word another says but your eyes understand the conversation. To me this is more beautiful than the words being said because it requires us to truly witness another person's emotions and regard them first. It also means our eyes nor our intuition will fail us. I wonder if more people who spoke the same language really looked at each other's faces and their body language while they spoke, perhaps the universal emotions of others wouldn't be so easily misinterpreted.'

-Copyright held by Julia Trask. Please seek permission before reproduction of material. January 14 2015. 


Sunday 11 January 2015

The unmade choices we make

Yes. The word most of us define our lives by, little do we know it is the 'no' responses that define our lives more. 

No I won't take that chance, no I won't change my lifestyle, no I won't be uprooted, no I don't want to get hurt, no I cannot- I don't want to hurt them. The problem with no is there is absolutely no chance you get what you want when your sentence starts with no, not even a compromise. Sometimes we even try to justify to ourselves that a 'no' isn't a bad as it really is and that things will get better but a no still means that we fail to have what we desire full and well knowing that we are settling. 

Now there's nothing wrong with settling, nothing wrong at all. In fact settling is bliss when you have what you truly desire, your lifestyle is happy, your chances bring you learning and happiness and your relationships love- settling is not about creating sediment that fossilises over time due to comfortability. Settling is not about mediocrity it's about settling for a life that makes you truly happy, that mystifies you beyond conceivable possibility because true settling is sitting in the pleasure of good decisions that make you consistently happy. Yes, there are bumpy roads in any path where your required to settle but they are not outweighed by a joy that permeates our initial decision and a constant reconnection to the beauty that our choice was blissfully right for us. 

This initial decision, the 'no' whether voiced or silent is an unmade but totally deliberate choice we make. It is these choices too that are the hardest to forgive ourselves for. They remind of us that we chose blindly to waste time, not take chances or be the wrong people because we feared risk. We all do it, it is for this reason why I believe we should take more risks and look foolish more often for the sake of some more potential 'yes' responses to our life. Also for a settled life of happiness not mediocrity after all it is these unmade (no) choices we make that haunt our lives long after the risks. 

JT...

Thursday 8 January 2015

Societies construction of men and women

For those of you who write to the narrative form I ask this, do you stick to societies constructions of men and women and why?

In one of my short stories (haven't published on here in fear of losing publishing ability), Circles, I deliberately chose to present men and women exactly as they are. At times critics could, at surface level, suggest that my characters were easily constructed perhaps even fickley formed however my intention was to present the world as it is and display the truth that those who break down society's barriers of gender construction . As it is these people that tend to experience the hardship as the cookie-cutter majority struggle with concepts of 'different'.

I guess what I am saying is, everyone will criticise your work as a writer and your choice of character development, because you are someone creative and different you are already on the back foot but from where I stand it seems only natural to support those who are attempting to build themselves up in their passion. Also to break away from these stereotypical norms and present the realities because literature for me is about sending out the truth in written form in the hope that society will see our own injustices.

Now I cannot say I've experienced many injustices all in all, but I have experienced serious character judgement. Playing football (soccer) meant I was automatically gay in some peoples' eyes. I'm not sure whether that was because it was the only way for men to get comfortable with the skill level of women or people just didn't know the correct definition of gay. Furthermore, beginning my Everest conquest even college friends have suggested I am on a rampage to remind other people of what they are not doing and talk myself up. They couldn't be more wrong. A woman who is after her own individual pursuit understands to every inch of her being how individual it is, yes you have to feed off yourself for the most part, sometimes celebrating your milestones and wanting to shout them out loud has to be done and there is absolutely nothing wrong with showing pride in your ability, commitment, hard work and dedication. Other times publicising your progress or workouts is just about keeping yourself in check that you are doing a good job. When 400 plus Facebook friends know you are working out that's a lot of people to let down if you don't work- so you become highly accountable and criticised. Similarly, when something doesn't go ahead according to plan, you have a mass exodus of questions.

Recently I was asked as I reflected on my Everest journey to date with a new friend, does your ideal man entail a big, tall brut who can do anything, including lifting you up with one hand? (Or something like that). Let me get my checklist & I'll reply.
'I want a decent hearted person, no big brut needed.'

You see the 'normal' notions society constructs in our heads enables us to only stick to assumed ideals of what makes a man a man and a woman a woman. There are entire self help sections of libraries and book stores dedicated to the characters we want to become- for fear that we are not enough. Sadly though this enables one response, one reaction to our work and a lack of space to write for the human spirit. Now I'm certainly no JK Rowling but I think it's an easy bet that if literature mocked the reality of people's' true character the reflection of our lives would be different and so would our success.

Food for thought yeh?

J :)

Monday 5 January 2015

An impressionable city that captures your heart

Recently, as you know, I have been touring Europe. Whenever I travel there are a few traits that become inexplicably clear to me almost instantly as you arrive to a new location- people's manner, the culture in the air, usually born of people's manner, and the pride the people have in their culture and history. Throughout the past 3 weeks I've travelled to 9 countries, many amazed me and some I could see myself living in but no other city made such a significant impression on my heart than Germany and particularly the city of Berlin. This is the city you don't want to miss. 

Berlin was amazing. The city is old yet it's most influential history ridiculously young. Germany is a nation categorised by an ugly war history when it should be identified as a nation full of some of the most resilient people the world. 

Five minutes of a tour here is all you need to come to understand the elasticity of the hearts of the Germans after human travesty, dictatorship, atrocity and physical boundaries attempted to break the beauty of true human spirit. Of approximately 15 countries I have travelled to so far, each with their own fights, I cannot surpass being truly impressed by the Germans. To me this relatively young country has much to be proud of and the world could do with taking notice at how they turned life around. 

The Berlin Wall, still standing in sections, demonstrates how divided the country was. It is mind boggling to comprehend that overnight family and friends became divided strangers for 28years trapped in a 'country' that separated them from those they loved. The Wall is decorated with art now and one famous piece whereby the east and west leaders are kissing and making up. Many wouldn't necessarily know however that it was the efforts of the average person that really forced the Berlin Wall down. It is a pleasure that parts of this wall exist to remember a life the Germans will never have to return to. However I find it also extremely beautiful and perfect poetic justice that Adolf Hitler is not glorified at all in this city. 

The lack of glorification to Adolf Hitler is such a joy because it shows so fervently how Germans felt about this power tripping maniac. The shame is that many who don't travel here will not understand this unless it is written about. In a walking tour about Berlin you are taken to a carpark and are told that you are standing on top of Hitler's bunker. Many tourists I was travelling with were excited to see the 'spot' where he ended his rule but the Gemans didn't give Hitler the notoriety, not even in death. It is a perfect ending to an ugly story. Had it been 2015 I wonder if our media would have done the same. Either way I found it extremely impressive that the Germans virtually erased him, well what you could, given the horrible, countless crimes he and the SS (secret service) committed. 

Other extremely impressive parts of Berlin is the artwork, hipster cafés and restaurants and various musicians that play for your amusement in the u-bahn (underground and overground stations). Of course the people here are very lovely. It's the only city in Europe I've managed to have a fun snowball fight with randoms, been offered a toboggan ride from a grandfather or held random conversations with local people for a lengthy time. 

Overall Germany to me, in my short glimpse, is simply impressive. I am deeply saddened by the horrendous loss and tragedy the Germans have faced but I am also in awe of how resilient, kind hearted and exceptional the people are. It will always be a city I will be happy to return to and travellers should never take it off their bucket list. 

The Holocaust Memorial- creative in design & always thoughtful. Keeping in mind the heartbreak caused by a loss of 6 million Jews at the hands of an atrocious man. 

Kreuzberg- whilst I visited here in the winter, the buildings were still amazing, artwork Devine, cafés & restaurants so craftily created- simply beautiful area of the city with a superb local feel- as the tourists don't flock here! I don't know why!

Remnants of the Berlin Wall that divided loved ones for 28years- overcome by pure human spirit in the end. Brilliant.